Posted by: datingoptimist | January 1, 2010

About The Rules

I am a Project Manager by profession.   After carefully replaying in my head for the zillionth time the downfall of my marriage, it occurred to me that if I were my own life’s Project Manager, I would fire me.  Everything had gone to hell in a handbasket, with red flags and warnings all along the way, which I chose to blissfully ignore.  

If I were to move forward, this project must be managed by an excellent Project Manager.  I decided to be the excellent Project Manager for my own life and do what I had been doing at work for years – set expectations,  set up dates and deliverables,  drive forward results, plot status results, communicate to my stakeholders, and identify the key milestones for a successful project.   Like an excellent Project Manager, I would need to be exceptionally receptive to listening and problem solving, no matter how much the truth was going to hurt. 

Bingo.  Not sure why that took me so long to apply my day skills to my personal life, but I had finally made the connection.   

And then there was hope. 

A brief comment on my stakeholders:  The new guy that would be in my life would be smart, healthy, kind, stable and charming.  Anything less than that would be a burden on my stakeholders.  My stakeholders were my friends and family.  I didn’t want my girlfriends cringing at the thought of me bringing the guy they all despised to Thanksgiving dinner.  Therefore, they all became what is known as,  “The Committee“.  They had a vested interest in my happiness, because they enjoyed their own happiness and didn’t want my jacked up life spoiling it for them.  Fair enough, and they actively participated in my Project Plan. 

Before I can begin to review the details of the Project Plan, I must first share the 20 rules I designed and how they were identified.  There are actually 21 rules today.  I added one more after watching one of my friends take the Project Plan and change it into a basterdized version.   More on that will be revealed at a later time, but a quick reminder -the intent of the Project Plan was not just to find a man (I could find one of those at the Grocery store!), but rather, to find a man that was healthy for me.  Big difference between those two concepts,  and the latter was the greater challenge.


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